Thy Choicest Gifts

Good lord, next Wednesday really is a rather special day. It's the birthday of none other than Head of the Commonwealth and Supreme Governor of the Church of England, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Happy birthday Ma'am.

To celebrate (kind of) we've launched a brand new Theatre Section. The big interview is with the great Barking-born Billy Bragg, and the hot news is that the RSC are massacring Shakespeare through the medium of Twitter.

Elsewhere, Blur have announced they're releasing their first single in 7 years, world-famous magicians Penn & Teller are touring the UK, and Dinosaur Jr are back together and hitting these shores too.

We've also got news of a unique street photography/coffee competition and the first-hand story of how Keira Knightley is to star in Stuart Pearson Wright's new lo-budget film.

Thursday 15th

A retrospective exhibition of work by Annabel Elgar at the recently opened Wapping Project Bankside this April and May. Elgar's work is often characterized by an uncanny interpretation of the suburban. Macabre images such as hanging puppets, jet black ravens and burning sheds inject a frisson of mystery into the otherwise blandly quotidian. The

A weirdly delightful entanglement of Formica furniture greets visitors at this, the third and latest exhibition of Michael Samuels' work at Rokeby.

These expertly balanced, tottering drawer/table/chair hybrids manipulate space and light to create a disorientating yet fascinating experience.

Ahead of her Big Ass tour, TV star Katy Brand tries out some new material at North Finchley's artsdepot.

Returning to the stage once again, the British Comedy Award winner will perform her own inimitable style of anarchic comedy, celebrity satire, music spoofs and more.

Held in the artsdepot's small studio theatre, the show will feature new material and old favourites.

Friday 16th

Art across a host of media goes on display this April in the cold, damp, endlessly fascinating maze of stone corridors and alcoves that is the crypt beneath St Pancras Parish Church.

Curated by Bare/not Projects, the exhibition involves 21 artists and includes sculpture, film, painting, photography and design, all carefully selected to explore ideas around freedom, conformity, immigration and cultural identity. By what are we bound, and can we do without these fetters?

Three generations of the same family struggle with the frustrations of growing up and growing old. While young Amber has just left school and is loving life, sambucas and her boyfriend, her mother Lorraine is having a bit of a mid-life crisis and her grandmother is not liking the idea of having more days behind her than ahead. A smash hit at

Ears Have Eyes throw underground parties - and they do it very very well. A lot of nights profess to having an atmosphere you'd find at a house party - but this time it's actually true.

Saturday 17th

This April and May sees Usurp - Harrow's first contemporary art gallery - completely transformed with a series of delicate drawings and installation work by Cathy Ward.

The exhibition - Teen Age - draws upon ideas of memory to create a fully immersive environment dense with symbolism, both personal and shared.

Transformed for the evening with customised production and visuals, confetti explosions, performance, shows and animation.

BodyMove is putting on the glitz, as it welcomes some of the most outstanding and upcoming DJs around including Michael Gray, Audiodamage's Kid Massive, Steve Smart, Boy George, Fat Tony and friends.

Electro Swing is the new fusion of - yep you've only gone and guessed it - electro and swing. It is one of the funkiest, most upbeat and danceable genres known to man so bring your moves and dress up to get down. This month's edition is curated by The Correspondents - the DJ/hip hop swing duo who are everywhere at the moment. It's a brilliant

Sunday 18th

Notorious corgi-eater and Jade Goody deathbed-re-enacter Mark McGowan sets up shop in Hackney Wick's Elevator Gallery for a month of performance-related shenanigans. As far as we can tell, the title of the performance doesn't only relate to Damien Hirst's shark in formaldehyde but to a blog post by Paul Carr in which the author slated McGowan's

Monday 19th

Part theatre, live music, and installation this is a thorough look at what it means to be English.

On Theatre are teaming up with singer-songwriter Billy Bragg to explore identity and loyalty through one family's struggle to define 'home'.

Read Naima's interview with Billy Bragg and Mick Gordon.

NB: This is a standing event not suitable for children under the age of 14

Wooden Shjips (that's not a typo) is a vital and refreshingly inspired quartet from San Francisco playing loud rock'n'roll in a style heavily influenced by the experimentalism of psychedelia, classical minimalism and garage rock excess. Read Rob's interview with Wooden Shjips.

Tuesday 20th

An Eat Your Own Ears night at Corsica Studios tonight with a much anticipated live show from Canadian artist Caribou.

Caribou is the stage name of Daniel Victor Snaith, previously known as Mantinoba. He makes mind-warping electronica experiments - "I like taking mental ideas apart and playing around with them," he says.

Wednesday 21st

Perrier nominee and co-creator of BBC4's new comedy quiz show We Need Answers, Alex Horne, is bringing his acclaimed 35-date national tour to London's Soho Theatre.

Horne has been trying to invent a new word for almost three years and implant it in the English language. Follow his progress in this multi-media neologistic bonanza.

Chaz Royal has put together a weird and wild line up including the best of Avant Garde and Neo-Burlesque.

Expect bizarre and grotesque performance art that will educate your senses and tap into your nightmares.

The evening is hosted by Dusty Limits and features Empress Stah, Hedo Luxe, Koko La Douce, Lexi Sexxe and Maleficent Martini among others.

Thursday 22nd

Fortnum & Mason - esteemed inventors of the Scotch Egg - are putting on an exhibition of contemporary British crafts on the first floor of their Piccadilly flagship store.

Featuring glassware, silver, textiles and porcelain by a range of contemporary makers, Handmade is a welcome new innovation from the ever-wonderful peeps at Fortnum's.

We're particularly fond of Anna Barlow's ceramic ice creams [pictured]. Mmmmm ice creams.

Friday 23rd

In 2008, Rhod Gilbert punched a shop assistant over the duvet tog-rating system and went berserk over a mince pie. In 2009 he gave his show a ridiculous title just to annoy someone in Canterbury. Is he a visionary in a sea of closed minds, or has he got anger-management problems?

Another chance to catch the exuberant Welsh stand-up and if.comedy nominee's sell-out show.

Chris Cunningham heads up this show for the Southbank's Ether Festival at the Royal Festival Hall. Support comes from Geoff Barrow's (Portishead) Beak> and a post-show DJ performance from Squarepusher.

Chris Cunningham is the now legendary film-maker behind such music videos as Bjork's 'All is Full of Love' and Aphex Twin's 'Windowlicker'.

Cunningham turned his hand to music production some time in 2004/5 and has since worked with The Horrors and Donna Summer. His highly anticipated work on Chris Cunnigham LIVE has combined unreleased film footage with his own musical arrangements.

Saturday 24th

A series of delicately evocative little drawings on display this April and May at Transition Gallery.

The works on show - by contemporary artist Emma Talbot - constitute the artist's reaction to the death of her husband, Paul. Naturally, there's great sadness here, but there's always hope in beauty, and these really are rather wonderful works.

Disco System hits Brixton Jamm the same night as LCD Soundsystem play Brixton Academy - and that is handy if you were lucky enough to get tickets.

Tonight is THE perfect carry on after sweating to the awesomeness of LCD.

Mock and Toof and two London based producers who have releases on DFA. They are low end and high class - and tonight share a bill with Padded Cell who are playing live and label mate Ray Mang.

Ray Mang is the disco dance party alter ego of writer/producer Raj Gupta. Highly acclaimed, this should be stunning.

Sunday 25th

As part of Royal Court Theatre's rough cuts mini-season, we get to a little taster of what happens when you combine stellar playwright Mark Ravenhill, composer Conor Mtichell and singer Marc Almond.

A rather dark yet musical celebration of humankind's capacity for survival. We are taken through that horrific episode in 1665 when the city was in crisis, everyone was dying, and this is all explained through song.