Thai a Yellow Ribbon

Did you know that it's Thai New Year next week? Well you do now. And to keep you informed and help you celebrate in style, we've got a pretty comprehensive guide to the whole shebang. One of the key traditions is throwing water at people – something to do with elephants apparently – so when you get bombarded with water bombs by the estate kids, don't get angry, join in! Or hide.

In other news, Michael McIntyre has been a busy little bee: he's kicking off yet another Comedy Roadshow tour right here in London as well as hosting this year's Royal Variety Performance.

Festival-wise, Big Chill is looking better than ever – not only have they secured M.I.A. and Massive Attack as headliners but they've also enlisted artist Spencer Tunick to organise a big naked art party. Big Chill, indeed...

Oh and finally: as a little Thai-time bonus, we've compiled a list of our five favourite Thai restaurants in London. Cool huh?

Friday 9th

Goth eyed four-piece King Adora were one of rock's bright lights in the early noughties, before abruptly splitting in 2005 - a move which left literally hundreds devastated. Still, fear not: they're back! Tonight they reunite headline the Relentless Garage.

"Travelling by submarine is statistically proven to be safer than flying. We know this because there are more planes in the sea than submarines in the sky." A genuine Royal Navy veteran who joined the service at 16 tells his story of life on a submarine from emergency escape training to dive-bombing sharks. Storming the Edinburgh Fringe

After nearly five full moons, THEM is back. The clubnight with more bounce to the ounce than most packs a bassy punch squarely in the muzzle. No messing. This is one of their most interesting rostas to date. With Jamie Vex'd debuting his new Kuedo sound, Boxcutter's Brand New Live Bass guitar show, the official EP launch of Planet Mu signing Rudi

Saturday 10th

Contemporary artist Shane Bradford produces paintings, sculptures and amazing painted book object/sculptures. He takes an old paperback (say, Aldous Huxley's Brave New World) and paints over the cover, adding stalactite-like drips to each one. Bradford's work is engrossing in terms both of process and complex end result and a selection of his

Creating a revolutionary realm of superb music, modern art and interactive theatre, The Game boasts an international roster of the finest names in the international alternative scene.

With cutting-edge performances and prizes to be won, this unique event looks set to prove one of 2010's most innovative and exciting new events.

London collective Feeding Time and label Werk Discs set off the party with a line up of legends and live acts. Combining to create a genre mashing night of all things electronic, from hip hop, to future garage, to house, this night is the one you don't want to miss.

Sunday 11th

One of the most successful exponents of electro-pop, Ultravox are often seen as one of the pioneers of new romanticism even though they pre- and post date the movement by several years.

Avant-garde with a real sense of fun and irony, they are a perfect example of what synth-pop used to be about.

Monday 12th

Rain Machine brings the "full spectrum of frequencies audible to the human ear" to the Village Underground.

Rain Machine is the solo project of Kyp Malone, better known as the guitarist in the critically acclaimed band, TV on the Radio. His debut self-titled record of the side project was released in September last year.

The Tattershall Castle is not actually a castle at all, but a boat permanently moored on Victoria Embankment that has hosted some of the best comedy acts for the last seven years.

Tonight's show looks to be a cracker with the bilious blue comedian Mike Wilmot joined by a secret Irish guest, Shooting Stars' burger van man Angelos Epithemiou and the quick-witted Stephen Grant as your MC.

Tuesday 13th

This is a brave and playful response to the somewhat chaotic reaction that ensued after Gurpreet Kaur Bhatti's 2004 play Behzti was set to open at Birmingham Repertory Theatre.

Behzti was cancelled after protests about the way it portrayed members of the Sikh community. Behud is the story of an artist struggling to be heard and trying to make sense of the past set against a theatrical backdrop with protesters and politicians a-plenty.

Wednesday 14th

Prepare for a psychedelic head-trip as prog rock maestros Astra embark on a tour of the UK shores.

Hailing from California, the band have already snagged support slots with stoner metal icons Orange Goblin and Clutch.

Thursday 15th

A retrospective exhibition of work by Annabel Elgar at the recently opened Wapping Project Bankside this April and May.

Elgar's work is often characterized by an uncanny interpretation of the suburban. Macabre images such as hanging puppets, jet black ravens and burning sheds inject a frisson of mystery into the otherwise blandly quotidian.

There's always something mysterious or ritualistically weird going on: kind of like if M Night Shyamalan was a photographer rather than an egotistical twat.

A weirdly delightful entanglement of Formica furniture greets visitors at this, the third and latest exhibition of Michael Samuels' work at Rokeby.

These expertly balanced, tottering drawer/table/chair hybrids manipulate space and light to create a disorientating yet fascinating experience.

Friday 16th

Three generations of the same family struggle with the frustrations of growing up and growing old.

While young Amber has just left school and is loving life, sambucas and her boyfriend, her mother Lorraine is having a bit of a mid-life crisis and her grandmother is not liking the idea of having more days behind her than ahead.

A smash hit at Edinburgh Fringe, this debut play from Irish playwright Elaine Murphy won the coveted Carol Tambor Best of Edinburgh Award.

Ears Have Eyes throw underground parties - and they do it very very well. A lot of nights profess to having an atmosphere you'd find at a house party - but this time it's actually true.

Saturday 17th

Transformed for the evening with customised production and visuals, confetti explosions, performance, shows and animation.

BodyMove is putting on the glitz, as it welcomes some of the most outstanding and upcoming DJs around including Michael Gray, Audiodamage's Kid Massive, Steve Smart, Boy George, Fat Tony and friends.

Electro Swing is the new fusion of - yep you've only gone and guessed it - electro and swing.

It is one of the funkiest, most upbeat and danceable genres known to man so bring your moves and dress up to get down.

This month's edition is curated by The Correspondents - the DJ/hip hop swing duo who are everywhere at the moment. It's a brilliant night - and they have DJ switch (twice winner of DMC) in to spin.

Sunday 18th

Notorious corgi-eater and Jade Goody deathbed-re-enacter Mark McGowan sets up shop in Hackney Wick's Elevator Gallery for a month of performance-related shenanigans.

As far as we can tell, the title of the performance doesn't only relate to Damien Hirst's shark in formaldehyde but to a blog post by Paul Carr in which the author slated McGowan's artistic practice. In it, Carr wrote that, "McGowan is a performance artist because he is too much of a simpleton to be trusted with paint. He'd probably try to eat it. Or fuck it."

It'll certainly be interesting to see what McGowan's response is...