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7th September 2010
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Illustration by Julie Khan

Gobble Gobble Gobble

Oh to be a turkey at this time of year. Christmas is round the corner of course, and next week it’s Thanksgiving: the Scylla and Charybdis of winter festivals (if you’re a turkey, that is). But the poor wee turkeys are caught in an additional double bind – obviously they’re terrified of getting killed to feed thousands of the nation’s fat, festive families. But what if they don’t get killed and eaten? In a sense that’s worse, because that’s when the self-doubt sets in: “What did I do wrong?” “Am I not tasty enough?” “Am I too thin?” “Too fat?” “Is it that horrible thing hanging off my beak? Urgh, man, what even is that?”

Or, as it sounds to human ears: “Gobble, gobble, gobble. Gobble?” “Gobble, gobble?” “Gobble, gobble, gobble.” Which is ironic as that's exactly what we'll be doing. Mmmm turkey.

So yes, next week is Thanksgiving. Whether or not you eat a turkey, make sure you give thanks. We’re not sure who to or what for, but hey. Maybe just give thanks for turkeys, and their surprisingly complex lives.

Upcoming

Ned's Atomic Dustbin

19th December 2009
More info >>

Eastern Electrics

31st December 2009
More info >>

London Art Fair

13th January 2010
More info >>

Jerusalem

28th January 2010
More info >>

Friday 20th

The Landscape, The House, The Face - A Report

There looks to be something of Gerhard Richter in Anthony Green's disconcerting take on photorealism. His work forces you to reassess notions of reality and perception, but with respect to outmoded pieces of household technology as opposed to Richter's more traditional still-life motifs.  He has a theory-heavy but potentially fascinating solo read on

where:
Limoncello
15a Cremer Street
E2 8HD
who:
Anthony Green
when:
11am - 6pm
what:
Painting
cost:
Free
 

The Farenheit Twins

Told By An Idiot present a masterful version of Michael Faber's haunting short story about a couple of kids growing up in the Arctic wastes with their scientist parents.

Life is one big adventure, from husky racing to snow rolling, until their mother takes to their bed and the twins suddenly wish for nothing more than to stop time in its tracks. read on

where:
Barbican Pit Theatre
Silk Street
EC2Y 8BQ

when:
Times vary
what:
Tragedy
cost:
£15
 

Calories

So you thought punk was just for the safety pin pierced, leather clad spike wielding clones of the '70s? Think again, as Calories show how punk has evolved, blending together some down tempo beats, punky vocals and Mogwai-esque instrumentals. Though they have tinges of emo and skate in there, you can forgive them due to their refreshing sound. read on

where:
Fox & Firkin
316 Lewisham High Street
SE13 6JZ

who:
Calories + more
when:
8pm
what:
Indie
cost:
£4
 

Star Spangled Banner with Scott Grooves

This summer, Scott Grooves' appearance at Fabric marked the first time in a over a decade that the Detroit veteran had played these shores. Well, now he's back as East Village have bagged him for a one-off exclusive. The man's studio work and diverse productions have made an impact on record crates the world over. Tonight's set is sure to be a read on

where:
East Village
89 Great Eastern Street
EC2A 3HX

who:
Scott Grooves, Severino
+ more
when:
9pm - 3am
what:
House, Disco, Funk/Soul
cost:
£8

Saturday 21st

Decima & La Bouche XMAS RUBBISH Art Fair and Live Gig

They're back! After pottering over to Berlin to put on an exhibition entitled Britain's Rubbish, the folks from Decima have come back to London for their annual Christmas art fair. For one day (and one night) they're taking over the George Tavern in Stepney to present all manner of festive fun times. During the day, there's an art fair with all so read on

where:
George Tavern
373 Commercial Road
E1 0LA
who:
Gilbert & George, Ingrid Z, Gavin Turk, Stephen Gill
+ more
when:
1pm - 6pm then 8pm - 3am
what:
Art Fair, Party, Performance Art
cost:
Free
 

Adventures in the Beetroot Field

After Be Your Own Pet comes Turbo Fruits, Jonas Stein's new band since the dissolution of the former. Apart from a talent for rubbish names, the frontman does also have a knack for writing a rambunctious punk rock song, and will be barraging his way through them tonight. The vocals are surprisingly heartfelt, and despite their heavy guitars and read on

where:
Amersham Arms
388 New Cross Road
SE14 6TY

who:
Munch Munch, Turbo Fruits
+ more
when:
8pm
what:
Rock, Punk, Indie
cost:
Free
 

Colony

Colony returns after a well-earned break as tonight they celebrate a year of throwing delicious parties! Happy Birthday Colony! They bring with them their trademark heavy dosage of techno, dubstep, drum 'n' bass and electronica culled from the deepest recesses of the dance music underground.  The irrepressible Perc (Kompakt, Drumcode, CLR and read on

where:
A10 Russian Bar
267 Kingsland Road
E2 8AS

who:
Perc, CB, Modus
+ more
when:
9pm - 5am
what:
Dubstep, Electronica, Techno/Minimal
cost:
£5
 

Plan B and Tilt present

Parisian producer Jackson Fourgeaud is Jackson and his Computer Band.

A rough diamond in Warp's glittering arsenal, his debut is cited by the likes of Justice, Simian Mobile Disco and SebastiAn as an influence.

Justin Robertson, Queen of batty bass, Filthy Dukes and the Snap Crackle boys complete the bill. read on

where:
Plan B
418 Brixton Road
SW9 7AY

who:
Hannah Holland, Filthy Dukes
+ more
when:
9pm - 8am
what:
Electro, House
cost:
£10

Sunday 22nd

The Sunday Night Adventure Club

Josie Long's jolly Sunday night romp returns with more silliness and games at the Hackney Empire.

Tonight's theme is 'The Mysteries of the Deep' - a deep sea adventure themed night with Pappy's Fun Club and some very special guests.
read on

where:
Hackney Empire
291 Mare Street
E8 1EJ
who:
Josie Long, Pappy's Fun Club
when:
7.15pm
what:
Stand Up
cost:
£6
 

Petrushka

Poor little Petrushka, the puppet without strings, bends and breaks the rules so he can run away from his evil puppet master and into the arms of his ballerina love. A sweet story inspired by a classic Russian circus tale uses all kinds of puppets (glove, rod, marionette, and more) to tell its story. Another triumph from the Little Angel Theatre read on

where:
Little Angel Theatre
14 Dagmar Passage
N1 2DN

when:
Times vary
what:
Family
cost:
£13, £10 Concessions

Monday 23rd

Mariachi El Bronx

Ever since Minor Threat first laced up their boots in early '80s DC, hardcore has been almost fanatical about purity. In some ways this die-hard dedication to keeping to the formula has been a blessing, giving the movement the clarity of purpose and ability to survive practically unchanged to the modern day. But, sort of like Communism, the stri... read on

where:
O2 Academy Islington
16 Parkfield Street
N1 0PS
who:
Mariachi El Bronx
when:
7pm
what:
Rock
cost:
£11.50
 

WitTank

Originally set up as a rival sketch group to the Durham Revue, WitTank have now established themselves firmly on the comedy circuit after successful Edinburgh and London runs this summer.

Catch them again at Hen and Chickens tonight as they perform their latest show - an hour of innovative skits, energy and horseplay. read on

where:
Hen & Chickens
109 St Paul's Road
N1 2NA
who:
WitTank
when:
7.30pm
what:
Sketches
cost:
£6

Tuesday 24th

The Sounds

With music louder than their attitudes, well-dressed Swedish new wavers The Sounds are always sure to give a chaotic performance at the very least.

Their punky electro songs are a hazy mix of raspy vocals, screaming guitars and edgy lyrics. Smashing. Literally. read on

where:
Electric Ballroom
184 Camden High Street
NW1 8QP
who:
The Sounds
when:
7pm
what:
Indie
cost:
£13
 

Trailer Trash Tracys

Peddling a blend of symphonic noise  that sits well with 'Daydream Nation'-era Sonic Youth and early Jesus and Mary Chain, Trailer Trash Tracys make psychedelic pop with some seriously up-lifting qualities. Recently signed to No Pain In Pop, their sound is reminiscent of My Bloody Valentine and even has hints of the Coctreau Twins' warbling melo... read on

where:
Madame JoJo's
8-10 Brewer Street
W1F 0SP
who:
Trailer Trash Tracys
when:
8pm
what:
Indie, Rock
cost:
£5

Wednesday 25th

Visible Invisible - Against the Security of the Real

With people long tired of one-joke conceptualism, Parasol Unit presents an exhibition of painting and sculpture, featuring work by five contemporary artists. What links them all together is that ability to hover above the lush green lawn that borders the vegetable patch of abstraction on the one side and, on the other, figuration's flourishing... read on

where:
Parasol Unit
14 Wharf Road
N1 7RW
who:
Katy Moran, Cecily Brown + more
when:
10am - 6pm
what:
Painting, Sculpture
cost:
Free
 

David O'Doh Party

Last year's if.comedy winner David O'Doherty returns to the Soho with his latest show. Expect whimsical anecdotes, low-key ditties and bags of charm from this musical Irishman. There will also be songs from the mid-eighties played on small pianos chosen for their versatility and range. And the fact that they fit into sports bags so you don't h... read on

where:
Soho Theatre
21 Dean Street
W1D 3NE
who:
David O'Doherty
when:
9.30pm
what:
Stand Up, Music
cost:
From £10 to £18

Thursday 26th

Jim Jeffries - Hits

For the second year running, 'controversial' Aussie Jim Jeffries returns to the Leicester Square Theatre for six nights with an all-killer-no-filler hour of confrontational classics, coupled with snippets of his new material. Jeffries is renowned for his no-holds-barred approach to comedy and has in the past discussed his girlfriends' suicide, his ... read on

where:
Leicester Square Theatre
Leicester Square
WC2H 7BP
who:
Jim Jeffries
when:
7.30pm
what:
Stand Up
cost:
£15, £13 Concessions
 

Sex Vid

Sex Vid were the kind of kids in middle school that liked to mix ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard together at the lunch table and would write their English essays on Darth Maul from Star Wars.

Nowadays they stick to getting crappy looking tattoos and making lager-swilling hardcore in the vein of Fucked Up or the Adolescents.  read on

where:
The Grosvenor
17 Sidney Road
SW9 0TP
who:
Sex Vid, Shitty Limits + more
when:
8pm
what:
Punk
cost:
£5
 

Pork & Pickle Comedy Club

Pork and pickle pie and the cream of the comedy circuit for only a fiver? This is a gig that can't be missed! Over the coming months, East London's Britannia pub will play host to the best in new British comedy with The Pork and Pickle Club. Tonight is launch night and the line-up doesn't disappoint. Angelos Epithemiou from Vic and Bob's BBC quiz s... read on

where:
The Britannia
360 Victoria Park Road
E9 7BT
who:
Will Andrews, Angelos Epithemiou + more
when:
8pm
what:
Stand Up
cost:
£5
 

Lick My Deck

T Bar host London label Lick My Deck's first night, with stripped back house connoisseur Thomas Melchior, LA minimal beat master Apendics Shuffle playing a supporting live set and label boss Shaun Soomro dishing some refreshing tunes especially for you.

Tasty. read on

where:
T Bar
32-38 Dukes Place
EC3A 7LP
who:
Thomas Melchior, Apendics Shuffle + more
when:
9pm - 4am
what:
House, Techno/Minimal
cost:
Free

Friday 27th

Gentlemen of Bacongo

The phenomenal worldwide reception for the publication of the recent Sartorialist book was possibly unsurprising - after all, it did feature a rather splendid picture of Spoonfed's Arts Editor... Now Trolley Books are publishing something that in a way has some similarities, in that they're both about fashion and style in the real world. Gentlemen... read on

where:
Londonnewcastle Project Space
28 Redchurch Street
E2 7DP
who:
Daniele Tamagni
when:
12pm - 8pm
what:
Photography, Fashion
cost:
Free
 

Polari

The last show ever at the ever-wonderful Vegas Gallery on Redhcurch Street. But fret ye not, the gallery's not closing for good; they're just moving a little further east, to Vyner Street in fact, right next door to Fred. The last exhibition at the original space consists of a themed group show curated by young Russian curator Anny Baranova. Th... read on

where:
Vegas Gallery
64-66 Redchurch Street
E2 7DP
who:
Will Tuck, Kate Mayne + more
when:
12pm - 6pm
what:
Painting
cost:
Free
 

Bibulous - Pop-Up World of Drinks

A wicked two-day event incorporating two of the best things in the world - shopping and boozing. Taking place in Vinopolis, the world of wine just near to Borough Market, Bibulous features all manner of different alcohols, making it cheaper than an evening in one of London's many overpriced cocktail bars. There's tequila courtesy of Green &... read on

where:
Vinopolis
1 Bank End
SE1 9BU
who:

+ more
when:
Times vary
what:
Shopping
cost:
£16
 

Stephen and the Sexy Partridge

Cal McCrystal, longtime Mighty Boosh and Sacha Baron Cohen collaborator, directs a surreal festive offering about a love affair between a man and his bird, with an ensemble cast of faces you'll recognise from British sketch comedy. This show was a big hit at the Old Red Lion last year; it's totally surreal, strangely sexy and has a good dose of fe... read on

where:
Trafalgar Studios
14 Whitehall
SW1A 2DY
who:

+ more
when:
9pm
what:
Comedy
cost:
£19

Saturday 28th

Musiq Concrete

Musiq Concrete presents a forward-thinking night of tech-house, bassline and electro held conjunctively at sister venues Fire and Lightbox. All four rooms have monster line-ups that include progressive tech-head Nathan Fake, 'batty bass' queen Hannah Holland, bomb dropper L-Vis 1990, bleepy techno pusher James Harcourt, and breaks master Casper C.... read on

where:
Fire
South Lambeth Road
SW8 1UQ
who:
Nathan Fake, Casper C
when:
10pm - 6am
what:
Electro, Breaks, Techno/Minimal
cost:
£10
 

Vitalic presents Flashmob

Vitalic launches new album 'Flashmob' tonight at matter. It's his only live date of 2009 and is likely to be superb. His slick beats will be crisp as fresh celery on matter's beefy subs. And room two looks reliably chubby as well with one of the finest DJs around chief wrong 'un Tim Sheridan flying his Veryverywrong flag and welcoming German t... read on

where:
Matter
Peninsular Square
SE10 0DY
who:
Vitalic, Tim Sheridan + more
when:
10pm - 7am
what:
House, Electro, Techno/Minimal
cost:
£15
 

Get Physical

New kid in town Cable keeps upping the ante with stellar line-ups. Tonight, legendary label Get Physical celebrate their 7th birthday (100 singles and counting!) with rocking sets from minimal don Patrick Bodmer (one half of acclaimed duo M.A.N.D.Y.) and the haunting Thomas Schumacher. Room Two is hosted by Phonica Records, who are nearly catchin... read on

where:
Cable
33a Bermondsey Street
SE1 2EG
who:
M.A.N.D.Y, Hector + more
when:
11pm - 7am
what:
Electro, House, Techno/Minimal
cost:
£15
 

mulletover Xmas Party

The recurringly brilliant mulletover touch down at a brand new venue (as yet undisclosed) to welcome in the Christmas season (a touch early I would say but that's evidently how it goes at the front line of rave planning in London.) They have another treat of a line up - with the very much in favour Berlin resident Prosumer dropping in with his ... read on

where:
Secret Location
who:
Geddes, DJ Buck + more
when:
10pm - 6am
what:
House, Techno/Minimal
cost:
From £8 to £14

Sunday 29th

The Stuckist Christmas Sale

It's Christmas time! And that means many things, one of which is that it's time for the annual Stuckist Christmas Sale. Charles Thomson and his figurative painting pals are putting on an exhibition at Matisonn Burgin Gallery in Shoreditch. Expect a broad range of different styles and subject matter, but all unified by the Stuckists' belief in the superio... read on

where:
Matisson Burgin Gallery
30 Phipp Street
EC2A 4NR
who:
Charles Thomson, Ella Guru + more
when:
10am - 6pm
what:
Painting
cost:
Free
 

The Gruffalo

Based on the hugely sucessful picture book, this Christmas, the Apollo presents The Gruffalo. Join Mouse as he makes his way through the forest fending off the crazy characters trying to eat him by telling them about the terrifying Gruffalo. But Mouse doesn't bank on coming face to face with the monster himself... Guaranteed to be full of catchy t... read on

where:
Apollo Theatre
Shaftesbury Avenue
W1D 6AB
who:

when:
Times vary
what:
Family
cost:
From £12 to £15
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