6th February 2012

gigs clubbing art comedy theatre blog competitions

Illustration by Julie Khan

Gobble Gobble Gobble

Oh to be a turkey at this time of year. Christmas is round the corner of course, and next week it’s Thanksgiving: the Scylla and Charybdis of winter festivals (if you’re a turkey, that is). But the poor wee turkeys are caught in an additional double bind – obviously they’re terrified of getting killed to feed thousands of the nation’s fat, festive families. But what if they don’t get killed and eaten? In a sense that’s worse, because that’s when the self-doubt sets in: “What did I do wrong?” “Am I not tasty enough?” “Am I too thin?” “Too fat?” “Is it that horrible thing hanging off my beak? Urgh, man, what even is that?”

Or, as it sounds to human ears: “Gobble, gobble, gobble. Gobble?” “Gobble, gobble?” “Gobble, gobble, gobble.” Which is ironic as that's exactly what we'll be doing. Mmmm turkey.

So yes, next week is Thanksgiving. Whether or not you eat a turkey, make sure you give thanks. We’re not sure who to or what for, but hey. Maybe just give thanks for turkeys, and their surprisingly complex lives.

Friday 20th

There looks to be something of Gerhard Richter in Anthony Green's disconcerting take on photorealism. His work forces you to reassess notions of reality and perception, but with respect to outmoded pieces of household technology as opposed to Richter's more traditional still-life motifs. He has a theory-heavy but potentially fascinating solo

Told By An Idiot present a masterful version of Michael Faber's haunting short story about a couple of kids growing up in the Arctic wastes with their scientist parents.

Life is one big adventure, from husky racing to snow rolling, until their mother takes to their bed and the twins suddenly wish for nothing more than to stop time in its tracks.

So you thought punk was just for the safety pin pierced, leather clad spike wielding clones of the '70s? Think again, as Calories show how punk has evolved, blending together some down tempo beats, punky vocals and Mogwai-esque instrumentals. Though they have tinges of emo and skate in there, you can forgive them due to their refreshing sound.

This summer, Scott Grooves' appearance at Fabric marked the first time in a over a decade that the Detroit veteran had played these shores. Well, now he's back as East Village have bagged him for a one-off exclusive. The man's studio work and diverse productions have made an impact on record crates the world over. Tonight's set is sure to be a

Saturday 21st

They're back! After pottering over to Berlin to put on an exhibition entitled Britain's Rubbish, the folks from Decima have come back to London for their annual Christmas art fair. For one day (and one night) they're taking over the George Tavern in Stepney to present all manner of festive fun times. During the day, there's an art fair with all so

After Be Your Own Pet comes Turbo Fruits, Jonas Stein's new band since the dissolution of the former. Apart from a talent for rubbish names, the frontman does also have a knack for writing a rambunctious punk rock song, and will be barraging his way through them tonight. The vocals are surprisingly heartfelt, and despite their heavy guitars and

Colony returns after a well-earned break as tonight they celebrate a year of throwing delicious parties! Happy Birthday Colony! They bring with them their trademark heavy dosage of techno, dubstep, drum 'n' bass and electronica culled from the deepest recesses of the dance music underground. The irrepressible Perc (Kompakt, Drumcode, CLR and

Parisian producer Jackson Fourgeaud is Jackson and his Computer Band.

A rough diamond in Warp's glittering arsenal, his debut is cited by the likes of Justice, Simian Mobile Disco and SebastiAn as an influence.

Justin Robertson, Queen of batty bass, Filthy Dukes and the Snap Crackle boys complete the bill.

Sunday 22nd

Josie Long's jolly Sunday night romp returns with more silliness and games at the Hackney Empire.

Tonight's theme is 'The Mysteries of the Deep' - a deep sea adventure themed night with Pappy's Fun Club and some very special guests.

Poor little Petrushka, the puppet without strings, bends and breaks the rules so he can run away from his evil puppet master and into the arms of his ballerina love. A sweet story inspired by a classic Russian circus tale uses all kinds of puppets (glove, rod, marionette, and more) to tell its story. Another triumph from the Little Angel Theatre

Monday 23rd

Ever since Minor Threat first laced up their boots in early '80s DC, hardcore has been almost fanatical about purity. In some ways this die-hard dedication to keeping to the formula has been a blessing, giving the movement the clarity of purpose and ability to survive practically unchanged to the modern day. But, sort of like Communism, the strict, dogmatic reliance on tried and tested rhythms and structures has acted like a straitjacket. After all, there's only so much you can do with the whole verse-chorus-verse-chorus-breakdown thing.

Originally set up as a rival sketch group to the Durham Revue, WitTank have now established themselves firmly on the comedy circuit after successful Edinburgh and London runs this summer.

Catch them again at Hen and Chickens tonight as they perform their latest show - an hour of innovative skits, energy and horseplay.

Tuesday 24th

With music louder than their attitudes, well-dressed Swedish new wavers The Sounds are always sure to give a chaotic performance at the very least.

Their punky electro songs are a hazy mix of raspy vocals, screaming guitars and edgy lyrics. Smashing. Literally.

Peddling a blend of symphonic noise that sits well with 'Daydream Nation'-era Sonic Youth and early Jesus and Mary Chain, Trailer Trash Tracys make psychedelic pop with some seriously up-lifting qualities. Recently signed to No Pain In Pop, their sound is reminiscent of My Bloody Valentine and even has hints of the Coctreau Twins' warbling melodies. Imagine The Ravonettes but way more scary.

Wednesday 25th

With people long tired of one-joke conceptualism, Parasol Unit presents an exhibition of painting and sculpture, featuring work by five contemporary artists.

What links them all together is that ability to hover above the lush green lawn that borders the vegetable patch of abstraction on the one side and, on the other, figuration's flourishing rose bed.

This is a direction that has been bubbling around for a while now (see Nadine Feinson as our favourite example of an artist doing something similar). Whether these are the artists to take it forward remains to be seen, but this is potentially an important show.

Last year's if.comedy winner David O'Doherty returns to the Soho with his latest show. Expect whimsical anecdotes, low-key ditties and bags of charm from this musical Irishman.

There will also be songs from the mid-eighties played on small pianos chosen for their versatility and range. And the fact that they fit into sports bags so you don't have to pay excess on flights.

Thursday 26th

For the second year running, 'controversial' Aussie Jim Jeffries returns to the Leicester Square Theatre for six nights with an all-killer-no-filler hour of confrontational classics, coupled with snippets of his new material.

Jeffries is renowned for his no-holds-barred approach to comedy and has in the past discussed his girlfriends' suicide, his brush with 'dick' cancer, his adventures with anal beads and been punched in the head by an offended punter at Manchester's Comedy Store. He's smutty, brash and self-conciously outrageous. He's also smart, brutally honest and brilliant. Go see.

Sex Vid were the kind of kids in middle school that liked to mix ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard together at the lunch table and would write their English essays on Darth Maul from Star Wars.

Nowadays they stick to getting crappy looking tattoos and making lager-swilling hardcore in the vein of Fucked Up or the Adolescents.

Pork and pickle pie and the cream of the comedy circuit for only a fiver? This is a gig that can't be missed! Over the coming months, East London's Britannia pub will play host to the best in new British comedy with The Pork and Pickle Club.

Tonight is launch night and the line-up doesn't disappoint. Angelos Epithemiou from Vic and Bob's BBC quiz show Shooting Stars is to headline, supported by Scottish BAFTA winner Will Andrews, hot new sketch group The Real McGuffins and VHS warrior Rich Sandling.

T Bar host London label Lick My Deck's first night, with stripped back house connoisseur Thomas Melchior, LA minimal beat master Apendics Shuffle playing a supporting live set and label boss Shaun Soomro dishing some refreshing tunes especially for you.

Tasty.

Friday 27th

The phenomenal worldwide reception for the publication of the recent Sartorialist book was possibly unsurprising - after all, it did feature a rather splendid picture of Spoonfed's Arts Editor...

Now Trolley Books are publishing something that in a way has some similarities, in that they're both about fashion and style in the real world. Gentlemen of Bacongo contains a whole wealth of photographs taken by Daniele Tamagni that depict the flashily-clad dandies of the Congo.

The last show ever at the ever-wonderful Vegas Gallery on Redhcurch Street. But fret ye not, the gallery's not closing for good; they're just moving a little further east, to Vyner Street in fact, right next door to Fred.

The last exhibition at the original space consists of a themed group show curated by young Russian curator Anny Baranova. There's work on show by nine contemporary artists, all of whom explore - in a variety of different ways - queer culture and social history.

A wicked two-day event incorporating two of the best things in the world - shopping and boozing. Taking place in Vinopolis, the world of wine just near to Borough Market, Bibulous features all manner of different alcohols, making it cheaper than an evening in one of London's many overpriced cocktail bars.

There's tequila courtesy of Green & Red Bar, beers from around the world, real absynthe by Alan Moss, GinTime with Geraldine Coates and a range of ports, wines and sherries from Gonzales Byass.

Cal McCrystal, longtime Mighty Boosh and Sacha Baron Cohen collaborator, directs a surreal festive offering about a love affair between a man and his bird, with an ensemble cast of faces you'll recognise from British sketch comedy.

This show was a big hit at the Old Red Lion last year; it's totally surreal, strangely sexy and has a good dose of festive cheer in amongst the oddball humour.

Saturday 28th

Musiq Concrete presents a forward-thinking night of tech-house, bassline and electro held conjunctively at sister venues Fire and Lightbox.

All four rooms have monster line-ups that include progressive tech-head Nathan Fake, 'batty bass' queen Hannah Holland, bomb dropper L-Vis 1990, bleepy techno pusher James Harcourt, and breaks master Casper C.

This is a big one, guys.

Vitalic launches new album 'Flashmob' tonight at matter. It's his only live date of 2009 and is likely to be superb. His slick beats will be crisp as fresh celery on matter's beefy subs.

And room two looks reliably chubby as well with one of the finest DJs around chief wrong 'un Tim Sheridan flying his Veryverywrong flag and welcoming German techno ambassador Guido Schneider to rock it.

New kid in town Cable keeps upping the ante with stellar line-ups. Tonight, legendary label Get Physical celebrate their 7th birthday (100 singles and counting!) with rocking sets from minimal don Patrick Bodmer (one half of acclaimed duo M.A.N.D.Y.) and the haunting Thomas Schumacher.

Room Two is hosted by Phonica Records, who are nearly catching up (they're turning six).

Maybe it's time to ditch Fabric and try some place new, eh?

The recurringly brilliant mulletover touch down at a brand new venue (as yet undisclosed) to welcome in the Christmas season (a touch early I would say but that's evidently how it goes at the front line of rave planning in London.)

They have another treat of a line up - with the very much in favour Berlin resident Prosumer dropping in with his drum machines and Detroit stylings.

Shaun Reeves flies the flag for the new breed of Detroit natives living in Berlin. Recently labeled as one of dance music's finest young prodigies, he lives with Seth Troxler and Ryan Crosson and is quite frankly, smashing it.

Sunday 29th

It's Christmas time! And that means many things, one of which is that it's time for the annual Stuckist Christmas Sale.

Charles Thomson and his figurative painting pals are putting on an exhibition at Matisonn Burgin Gallery in Shoreditch. Expect a broad range of different styles and subject matter, but all unified by the Stuckists' belief in the superiority of figurative painting.

Based on the hugely sucessful picture book, this Christmas, the Apollo presents The Gruffalo.

Join Mouse as he makes his way through the forest fending off the crazy characters trying to eat him by telling them about the terrifying Gruffalo. But Mouse doesn't bank on coming face to face with the monster himself...

Guaranteed to be full of catchy tunes and adorable characters, this will be a very memorable story telling.