I See You Baby

Philip Ridley's first ever, award winning play returns to the Hampstead theatre where it made its debut in 1992. The Fastest Clock In The Universe is a hugely unsettling horror story about a man named Cougar. He's having a birthday party, he's invited a guest of honour, and he's sharpened his knife.

A sick, shocking play about insanity and the longing for eternal youth. We're recommending it, but only for sickos like ourselves.

Reinventor of British hip hop Roots Manuva plays a pared-down acoustic set at this classy jazz venue. He's supported by a lady who signed up months ago, but has since won the Mercury Prize: Speech Debelle. Which makes this just about the hottest UK hip hop line-up of the month, no doubt!

Expect social consciousness and sharp edged wit from both performers

Gouranga presents the GAG awards - recognising the talents and progression of the best young stars in house and techno.

Best Live Techno goes to Leeds duo Spektre and best international newcomer goes to Helge Kuhl.

AND, rather excitingly, Output Recordings' Impressario Trevor Jackson will be there to pick up his OG award for his outstanding contribution to the London scene.

Amazing.

The Zabludowicz Collection is one of the most impressive contemporary art collections in the world, so when 176 says they're puting together an exhibition of works from it you should probably be pretty excited.

Especially when this show includes painting, sculpture, video and sound works by a variety of artists, from established heavyweights like Glenn Brown, Wolfgang Tillmans and Richard Prince to fast-emerging names like Jack Strange.

The unifying concept here is the notion of repetition (différance, iterability etc) and although it's not an expecially novel idea, the strength of the work on show should ensure that this is a fascinating exhibition.

John Simm (Life on Mars, Human Traffic) stars in a high-gloss production of Andrew Bovell's marvelous drama of infidelity, love, mistakes and their consequences, Speaking In Tongues.

Ostensibly a story of two couples deliberately setting out to cheat and ending up entangling their lives, the story has a much wider scope, considering the nature of society, the repercussions of our mistakes, and taking a twisted but surprisingly compassionate look at human weakness.

This show promises high production values, a stellar cast, and two acts of totally engrossing drama, and will surely be one of the autumn's hottest tickets.

One of the most influential figures in the French electronic music scene, Joakim is the very epitome of Gallic cool and virtuosity.

Tonight he celebrates the launch of his new album with a show at Cargo.

This event is 'pay what you want' aka FREE, which is a stone bargain.

Founded in 2000 by legendary fashion photographer Nick Knight, SHOWstudio is an award-winning fashion website, known for its support of up-and-coming artists and designers and its espousal of innovative creative collaborations.

As well as giving opportunities to the youngsters (like Marios Schwab, Gareth Pugh and artist Sarah Maple) SHOWstudio has collaborated with a host of top names - think John Galliano, Kate Moss, Maison Martin Margiela...

Opening during London Fashion Week, this exhibition is liable to be something really pretty special!

To celebrate the 150th Anniversary of the publication of Darwin's 'The Origin of the Species', The Old Vic presents Inherit The Wind, starring Artistic Director Kevin Spacey.

Inherit the Wind is the story of Bertram Cates, a school teacher on trial for teaching the theory of evolution against state law. But will belief defeat science in a court of law? In the American South? What do you think?

Based on the true story of Tennessee science teacher John Scopes and the 'Scopes Monkey Trial', this play by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E Lee originally stood as a metaphor for McCarthyism, with evolution hardly contentious in 1950s America. Fast forward a half century and the Creationists are in their pomp.

This production stars Spacey (The Usual Suspects, American Beauty) and British heavyweight David Troughton (Sharpe, Drop the Dead Donkey) and is directed by Trevor Nunn as he continues his bounce-back from the disastrous Gone With The Wind.

A riveting and bizarrely relevant face off between faith and science with stellar production values, this is one of the shows of the autumn.

Kubicle - the notoriously great little after-party which to converts is more of an extended techno family - has been spreading it's wing's of late.

The Toilet - traditionally their Sunday morning home - will host their parties on a more sporadic basis thanks to this - their new residency at the T Bar.

Tonight Clive Henry, Toni D and Lee Curtiss join a very special guest...

Girls are a pairing of Holy Shit's Christopher Owens and infamous San Fransisco ladykiller Chet JR White who, despite the vest/checked shirt look, make some pretty effective garage rock.

At their most spectacular fuzzing it up like some twisted, nightmarish version of the Velvet Underground, Girls have an unfortunate tendency to slip off the boil on record - but it's all go-go-go when they're playing live - so we can let them off.

The UK's leading competition for female comedians is back in the capital this September. After several qualifying rounds at the Edinburgh and Camden Fringe Festivals and Leicester Square Theatre, the charity final will be held at the Comedy Store on the 21st.

Now in its 7th year, Funny Women looks for the best new female talent in the country, a lot of whom have been performing live stand-up for the first time. Past winners like Zoe Lyons, Janey Godley and Andi Osho have all gone on to enjoy success on the comedy circuit and are now headline acts on club line-ups.

Tonight is the perfect opportunity to catch the cream of the crop going head to head to claim the Funny Women Award title 2009.

Two contrasting yet complementary series of paintings make up Jon Wealleans' latest solo show at Francis Kyle Gallery.

On the one hand is a series of paintings of the artist's own kitchen - bright, bustling and cluttered with pin-prick details, these images are both startling and involving.

On the other hand, Wheallans introduces an air of calm with his small garden scenes - these are a little more muted, but still crammed full of sun-drenched delight.

A welcome revival for this version of the classic JB Priestly thriller, originally produced by Stephen Daldry for the National.

Inspector Gode interrupts a dinner party with  questions, and some answers about the murder of a young girl, shattering the cosy existence of the guests.

One of the original detective thriller whodunnits that spawned a thousand imitators - and still genuinely tense.

Twenty new works by Frank Auerbach go on display this September and October at Marlbosough Fine Art, among them new portraits, landscapes and drawings.

Auerbach is one of the great names in British painting so this is an exciting opportunity to see his latest works up close and personal without having to pay a solitary penny.

Bilge Pump are a typical Leeds product in that they have managed to turn a mess of raucous noise, nitro fuelled avant-jazz, Contortions-esque art-punk and Glassjaw style math rock, bizarre song titles and out there lyrics into the best party ever.

Our favourite moustachioed trend setter Adam Sweeny saw them last November and basically summed them up as a apoplectic Gang of Four with a sense of humour.

Just opposite Marylebone Station is P3 Exhibitions, a massive underground hangar formerly used to test concrete. How on earth does one test concrete? Who knows? But that's not relevant here.

What is relevant is that for 24 hours the space is being taken over by a guerilla art exhibition involving some of the capital's most exciting emerging artists.

Audiovisual shenanigans + audience-controlled narrative + completely unique space = almost certain amazingness.

Tim Crouch's latest play invites the audience to sit back, relax and get ready to laugh and cry at the history of hope, violence and exploitation visited upon innocents in the name of the spectator, from the gladiatorial arena to the football pitch.

How postmodern and fourth wall can you get? But perhaps surprisingly despite dealing with complicated concepts Crouch is consistently funny, easy to understand and emotionally resonant.

A treat for fans of cerebral theatre.

You can't escape this guy! Having faired okay in our recent singles chart, techno electro cum hip hop artist Drums of Death is dropping by The Legion to give his one of his eclectic performances.

With a weird mash of genres, expect a little bit of everything from this fella; metal, techno, rap, electronica... what doesn't he do!This is sure to be a fun-packed evening, and it is worth taking a trip down just to see what crazy outfit he will be wearing this time.

David Thomas and his avant-garage gang Pere Ubu bring the magic to the ICA's little theatre.

For more than 32 years Cleveland underground heroes Pere Ubu have defined the art of cult, refined the voice of the outsider and influenced the likes of Joy Division, Pixies, Hüsker Dü, Henry Rollins, REM, The Sisters of Mercy, Thomas Dolby, Bauhaus, Julian Cope and countless others.

To say we're excited is a bit of an understatement... 

Comedy, live music and a wide arrange of weird and wonderful variety can be seen at this East German-inspired evening hosted by Pierette Scoobaz and DJ Ratsmilk.

Tonight they have a great line-up of comedy greats with Simon Munnery and Kevin Eldon (Brass Eye, Jam, Fist Of Fun).

We are very excited about Ekstravaganza, a new bi-monthly event at Corsica Studios, which welcomes Norwegian cosmic disco mastermind Prins Thomas as its resident. Joining him tonight will be the Warm residents from Plastic People.

Expect all things cosmic, Italo, old, new and plain funky.

Anish Kapoor is one of Britain's greatest contemporary artists, whose work manages a kind of original organic power whatever the scale: from wall-mounted sculpture to colossal architectural pieces.

This autumn, the Royal Academy presents a major solo exhibition that features both a survey of his career and a selection of new works, which suggest Kapoor is still developing as an artist.

Kapoor's works are often draw-droppingly beautiful, their very simplicity evoking awe and surprising complexities of thought. This could be one of the highlights of the year

A clash of Japanese noise rock and London indie-pop, Screaming Tea Party have been bubbling away in the London underground for a long while now, and always seem poised to emerge like some alt. rock butterfly and become the UK's answer to Sonic Youth.

Until that happens, we'll just have to content ourselves with watching them rip up amazing little shows in Dalston. Oh, like this one.

Kaleidoscope is delighted to welcome 80s legend John Morales to the decks, along with Neon Indian Alexander Robotnick and scores more.

Expect disco, electronica, dubstep and leftfield.

It's an honesty box pay scheme, so dig deep.

Blogger's Delight is a wicked Sunday session pulling together all the best obscure samplists, MP3 DJs and bedroom producers with an urge to play out, and giving them all a chance to perform to a worn out but well happy crowd at The Lock Tavern.

What could be better than winding down from the weekend with some truly ground-breaking beeps, bleeps and live music, all thrown together with no regard for style, promotion, presentation, only music?

Anyway, tonight is Blogger's Delight last show for summer '09, and they're going out with a suitably pixelated bang with DJ Solo doing the business behind the decks. Should be super.

Legendary comedy songsmith Boothby Graffoe is hosting a series of shows every Sunday at the Hob in September, alongside The Following People band.

Highly regarded on the comedy circuit for his surreal and absurd songs, Graffoe will be accompanied by his band, made up of multi-talented musicians Nick Pynn and Theseus Gerrard who between them can play guitar, violin, mandolin, bass pedals and percussion.

Following the success of the trio's latest album and live DVD, the show will be a mixture of fun, silly music and stand-up. Having retired from stand up comedy in 2007 to concentrate on writing both for himself and for the likes of Omid Djalili, this is a rare chance to see Boothby Graffoe live.