6th February 2012

gigs clubbing art comedy theatre blog competitions

Illustration by Julie Khan

Value Added Taxis

There are many reasons to be proud of living in London, not least a splendid listings site that helps you find out all the best things the capital has to offer. But now there’s another thing to add to this illustrious list: London’s taxis have just been voted the best in the world. Yes it’s true, they may be overpriced and their drivers may be, ahem, opinionated. But according to a recent survey, London’s cabs are the friendliest, safest, cleanest and most knowledgeable in the world. Fab, huh?

In terms of things that are actually interesting though, London is arguably the centre of the contemporary art world, and next week provides a good example of why. There’s Morrissey-inspired video art in Bethnal Green, incredible documentary photography by Tom Hunter, psychogeographic drawings in Hackney, a knitted cafe, and a man with a horse on his head doing some kind of shamanic ritual. But how to get to all these things? Why, in a cab of course.

Friday 29th

Four years since her last solo show at the gallery, YBA enfant-terrible Tracey Emin returns to White Cube with an exhibition of drawings.

Coinciding with the launch of her book One Thousand Drawings this exhibition includes an animation of a woman masturbating and is probably likely to cause at least a it of a media splash.

WeAreLive return to Scala with this simply astonishing line up. Bringing the raw energy straight back to the dance floor via the wealth of incredible live acts and DJs playing tonight, Tweak & Bleep and FarmFestival present a tableau of the finest tweaked up electro-tech, bleeped out breaks, upfront discoteque and turbo-charged greatness for

Z Shed lay their heavily loaded cards on the table and challenge you to a dance off. Supplying the bassy magic tonight is Kid 606's latest signing Bruce Stallion. He takes the spirit of '90s hardcore, Amiga music, hip hop and dubstep, adds a splash of tequila, a tonne or two of bass and dashes it right in your face. He's joined by absolute laser

Three promoters unite to give you Balance - the brand new night at spanking new venue Cable in London Bridge. Wang, Base and Split between them have three decades of experience throwing underground parties. For their debut they bring together some of the most innovative artists in house, techno and electro. Detroit pioneers Aux 88 are jetting in

Saturday 30th

What? Is dance punk not over already? Well, if it is, nobody told New Zealand: those guys seem to be pumping it out like the Klaxons never happened.

Bang! Bang! Eche! are the latest bunch to find themselves washed up on our shores, and their synth-driven angular groove fest will have even the hardest hearts throwing shapes in no time.

Seemingly riding a high-wire between mind-bending jams and ultra heavy, grinding sludge, Finland's Fleshpress are definitely not for those amongst us who still watch the Disney Channel on a regular basis.

Uncompromising, twisted and unashamably hostile, they'll be laying waste to the Grosvenor tonight.

The Noisy Neighbours crew touch down at the Lightbox with their biggest line up yet. This underground techno night has been going from strength to strength and tonight they welcome back Cesare vs Disorder to slay you with his low slung beats. Frankfurt's Gregor Tresher (Cocoon) drops by to mezmerize with his acclaimed take on techno and Kindlich

Sunday 31st

Free Range is a huge exhibition dedicated to the cream of the UK's graduate art and design talent. With works by over 3000 graduates from 40 art colleges across the country this is one of the best opportunities to see and buy cutting edge new work. The only slight drawback is that, with the exhibition taking up 400,000 square foot, it might all

An awesome family spectacular in a specially designed space, the Neverland Pavilion in Kensington Gardens, this production of the JM Barrie classic uses state-of-the-art effects to transport the audience to the magical kingdom of the boy who never grew up. Follow the Darling family on an adventure of a lifetime as they befriend the magical

Monday 1st

It looks like Lars Laumann is a bit of a fan of fey bequiffed gladioli-waving superstar Stephen Patrick Morrissey. And why not? Every right-thinking individual is indebted to the great grumpy Mancunian.

But even his greatest fans would be hard pressed to imagine Morrissey foretelling the death of Princess Diana, which is what Laumann did in a 2006 video work entitled, appropriately, Morrissey Foretelling the Death of Diana.

Emerging from the same experimental scene as Animal Collective and Black Dice, Gang Gang Dance blend African rhythms, Middle Eastern dance music, industrial, noise and grime into experimental, left-field music that revolves mostly around electronics and lots and lots of percussion.

Influenced by Brain Eno, art rock and elements of Middle Eastern and African drum music, the band has found particular success in New York's club scene, where their tribal-like ambient dub makes kids dance like Apaches in a cowboy movie.

Orangutans - aren't they the cutest? Everyone loves orangutans and none more so than Bill Bailey - patron of the Save Our Orangutan Society.

Handily for the SOS, Bill has a lot of funny chums that he can rustle up for charity gigs at the drop of a hat so tonight he has organised a special benefit to raise money for conservation projects to save the Sumatran orangutan from extinction.

Ventriloquist Nina Conti and her own stuffed monkey will be there as well as comedy's own rock God Tim Minchin, cult legend Simon Munnery , Never Mind The Buzzcocks team captain Jason Manford, The Mighty Boosh's Bollo and sardonic stand-up Alistair Barrie.

Tuesday 2nd

Trumpets and violins mix with the usual indie weapons of choice tonight at the ICA: Fanfarlo bring their unique folk/indie with its upbeat melodies cascading over particularly dark lyrics to the cavernous stage.

Their live show in particular is a spectacle of beautiful noise. Not to be missed.

If you are a Daniel Kitson fan, the fact that his new 'work in progress' shows are to be held in Forest Hill shouldn't deter you. If you live in Forest Hill - lucky you.

The cult legend and comedian's favourite will be performing some new bits and pieces including stand up and story ideas at the Hob over the next couple of weeks. And tickets are only £5!

Wednesday 3rd

The Arts Gallery presents a first retrospective for highly acclaimed contemporary photographer Tom Hunter. With images on show from five previous bodies of work as well as never-before exhibited photographs and mixed media sculptures, this is an exciting show.

In some ways you could compare Hunter's work with that of Stephen Gill - both document often derided or overlooked aspects of east London and both are concerned with portraying local specificity. But where Gills' work is intensely naturalistic, Hunter's is more staged, drawing upon a range of art historical references to produce images that, at best, are simultaneously both politicised and hauntingly beautiful.

Seneca the Younger's brilliant, horrific interpretation of the ancient Greek myth is here translated from the Latin by Caryl Churchill. It could be described as the first horror story.

In case you didn't know, Thyestes was a bit of a character in ancient Greece, who ended up stealing the throne of Mycenae from his own brother, Atreus, with the help of his brother's wife. This charming lady had also been sleeping with Thyestes.

When Atreus discovered this act of incestuous adulterous betrayal, he killed Thyestes' sons and cooked them, presenting them to his brother as a 'peace offering' which they ate together. Revenge served warm!

Thursday 4th

Helen Mirren stars as the tragic, lustful Phèdre in Ted Hughes' tough, frank translation of Racine's play, based upon ancient Greek myth.

Obsessed with her stepson and believing her husband dead, our heroine confesses her love before the return of her husband causes her to panic and accuse her beloved stepson of rape.

Ah, those Greeks. They liked a bit of spice and the endings weren't necessarily as upbeat as Hollywood.

Up The Arts has provided a wealth of comedy entertainment over the years scoping many genres from sketch to character, physical, stand-up and music gigs, held anywhere from cinemas to cellar bars.

Tonight, upbeat female stand-up and lover of all things arty and crafty, Josie Long will be headlining the gig, supported by another ace comedienne - Holly Walsh, Jim Grant and Iain Lee from The 11 O'Clock Show. Hosted by Paul Ricketts, this is a favourite with comedy fans and critics alike.

Friday 5th

This sounds pretty cool. This June/July Kemistry Gallery is taken over by 49 hand-painted totems made from reclaimed wood.

These pieces - the work of designer Damien Poulain - are inspired by ancient sculptures and religious symbolism, but they also constitute a response to the contemporary fetishisation of the so-called 'iconic'.

For all their GG Allens, Derby Cashs and Joey Ramones, The Americans still hold a candle for good old British punk rock with its social conscience, bovver boots, leather trousers and catchy, melodic rabble-rousers.

Criminal Damage are one such bunch, and this 4 piece hailing from Portland, Oregon is a sneering reminder of late-'70s oi! like Blitz and Sham 69, whilst simulatenously making sure we remember the greatness of Fat Wreck also-rans Swingin' Utters.

Elephant & Castle is changing. Like much of the rest of London, the old and 'unsightly' is gradually being swept away to be replaced by gleaming temples to modernity. Whether gentrification is something to be celebrated or resisted is a moot point (and certainly not one to be tackled here in an event listing) but it is something that seems particularly to prick the minds of creative folk.

In response to the changing nature of the local area, contemporary artist Marcus Coates and electronic music collective Chrome Hoof have teamed up for a night-long ritual of art, performance and musical goings on.

Almost everyone is familiar with the story of musical legend J-Dilla (Jay Dee/James Yancey).

Prolific collaborator and inspiring producer, he worked with everyone from Eryka Badu to Janet Jackson via De La Soul. He tragically passed away aged 32 due to Lupus-related complications in 2006.

The Doctor's Orders are the cats behind the annual 'J-Dilla Changed My Life' tribute nights and tonight join forces with the Nature Sounds imprint to launch the 'Jay Stay Paid' album.

Saturday 6th

Amazing! They said knitting was making a comeback, but that was mainly just journalistic puff pieces lazily relating to the credit crunch. But now it's hitting the world of fine art. May saw Sally Spinks present a pile of knitted cigarette butts at Tenderpixel Gallery and now, in June, the Charlotte Street branch of Rebecca Hossack Gallery is transformed into Kate's Café.

Fashion designer/knitting supremo Kate Jenkins is filling the gallery with all manner of amazingly detailed crocheted café delicacies: so there's sardines on toast, a Full English, pizza and a jar of anchovies. There's even ketchup and a pot of 'stitchberry' jam!

Recession, the Olympics, and the future of East London: these are the main subjects up for discussion in Slump City, an exhibition featuring work by three local (and brilliant) artists.

If you haven't heard of Laura Oldfield Ford by now then you must have been living under a rock for the past few years. She produces dystopian paintings and drawings, a punk/psychogeographic 'zine called Savage Messiah and undertakes all manner of protests and activities aimed at preventing the homogenisation of East London. For this show she presents a large wall of A2 drawings that map the forgotten and overlooked elements of the capital.

Tonight one of the greatest working stand-ups on the UK circuit, John Gordillo will be headlining the show with some new material, supported by the sharp and witty Simon Evans, the jollier Tiernan Douieb and BBC6 presenter Jon Richardson.

Ditch It All make their debut at 93 Feet East after a load of massive parties at 333.

Tonight they present three live bands: corrupting popsters Ou Est Le Swimming Pool, all female five piece Royal Treatment Plant and French-Soler.

In the bar DJ Darkorse and Electric Junkies join Thick As Thieves and Jac The Disco to provide a pumped up mix of electro-disco-beat magic.

Sunday 7th

OMFG. HummusFest! Hummus - probably the greatest foodstuff in the world? Picnics would be nothing without the delicious chickpea dip, and falafel would simply be a dry and pointless ball of blanditude.

Now in its second year, HummusFest is a celebration of all things hummus (well, kind of). Basically you turn up, make some hummus and try to impress a panel of celebrity judges including, apparently, the Hummus Bros and their mother. The Hummus Bros? What are they - chickpea super heroes?

Kubicle - the notoriously great little after-party which, to converts, is more of an extended techno family - has been spreading its wings of late.

The Toilet - traditionally their Sunday morning home - will host their parties on a more sporadic basis thanks to this new monthly residency at the T Bar, a recreated Toilet at Glastonbury, an afterparty at Sonar and a date at Berlin's most freaking awesome club Bar 25. Go Kubikids....

Today's FREE party will be presided over by Kubicle residents FB Julian and Toni D plus Bill Patrick and DC10's Clive Henry.