Flower Power

The Stuckists take over the Islington Arts Factory this March with an exhibition of work by five female members of their group. Stuckist art is characterised by figurative paintings produced in a kind of faux-naive style, so expect more of the same to be on display here. Ella Guru focuses on the sordid elements of popular culture - fetish clubs, transvest

Ha ha, this is probably the most apt name for a band ever.

Like their namesake, cute-as-a-button Spanish kids Suzy & los Quattro make good-time garage rock about riding about on motorbikes and kissing boys and stuff.

Two ex-programmers from late and sorely missed nightclub The End save the day by taking over Friday nights at top notch newly cool venue The Arches.

Electrifying line-ups will make your mouth water - including James Holden's Border Community, Ben Watt's Buzzin' Fly, Warp Records, Chew The Fat! and Eat Your Own Ears.

An evening of '60s counter-cultural shenanigans at the South London Gallery this Saturday. In association with Flat Time House, they're hosting a restaging of John Latham's 1965 performance piece Juliet and Romeo, that involves a male and a female character in costumes made out of hardback and paperback books. In addition, writer and artist Stewar

It seems slightly unbelievable but it's been almost two years since we put This Is Music's first London show up on these pages, and here they are with their biggest show ever. Although we can't tell you who the headliner is yet ( but believe us they are massive), we can tell you that this show has two of the best bands in the UK playing for your enjo

Scenario is the new hip hop party at Cargo. The policy is to combine new talent with prolific, established artists. If you still need convincing then recognize that it's by the crew that bought you Soundcrash, Loose Change and Red Alert. Tonight it's the remarkable Peanut Butter Wolf (founder of Stones Throw Records) performing one of his massive aud

James Zabiela - one of the most highly regarded DJs in the world - lands at Matter for another Positronic party, this time with Christian Smith and Joey Beltram, with Spektre and Mooj heading up room two.

If you like your house techy and clever, then this is the night for you.

Infused with elements of Nordic and Yiddish folklore, this piece of puppet theatre 'for grown ups' is a historical tale about a shrewd Jewish factory owner making a fortune and dedicating his life to fighting anti-Semitism. By the time the Nazis invaded Norway, they had already marked him down as the 'leader of Jewish resistance' in that count

Poland does a lot of things well - sausages, beer, revolutions - the list goes on and on. One thing they have been keeping secret, however, is that our Polish neighbours are building the new home of European reggae. It would seem that whilst the rest of the Warsaw Pact was busy listening to Russian Opera, the Poles were manning their tanks and subma

As part of the London Word Festival, funnyman Phill Jupitus and East End scribbler Tim Wells are putting on a comfy 'evening in' on the sofa as they open up their Aladdin's Cave of vinyl rarities and escort the audience on a trip down memory lane.

While it may sound a tad self-indulgent and more about music than comedy, we reckon it will be a funny evening nevertheless. Joining them on the sofa and behind the mic, punk legend and respected soundtrack composer Barry Adamson (Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Magazine, Bad Seeds) performs his London-centric short story Maida Hell. Leftfield fiction writer Amy Prior reads from Slumber Party, her latest release which is inspired by 70s Disney 'book-and-record' sets and Travis Elborough, author of The Long-Player Goodbye, will trawl through the history of the LP.

Little Death have been going for a while now and we're still at a bit of a loss as to why they aren't the biggest band in the city now.

Not only do they look like fashion models, their name is the literal translation of the word orgasm from French.

Located on Penton Street, the breeding ground of good comedy nights, this club is held in the Chapel Bar, so called because of the pulpit on the right hand side of the stage.

The Comedy Bar also manage some of the leading comedians on the circuit which means they are never short of good line-ups. Opening night saw Stephen Merchant, Pete Firman, Robin Ince, Trevor Lock and Adam Bloom take to the mike and it has maintained this level of quality ever since.  The comedy is held in an adjoining room to the bar which is fairly small and usually sells out so be warned: if you don't get there early you might be sitting on the step.

Jason Donovan returns to the West End stage in a gloriously camp production of a very unusual Australian adventure.

With more than 500 costumes and 39 musical set pieces, this lavish version of the hit 1994 film The  Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert is the most ambitious ever to come out of Australia. Hopefully it can match the commercial success and sheer entertainment value of the last notable Aussie export, Dirty Dancing.

Three drag queens set off for a gig in Alice Springs, and are forced to pit their fabulousness against the tough but magnificent outback. They discover more than they ever dreamed possible. The residents of the outback learn a thing or two as well...

To raise money for Comic Relief, the Porthole Club is holding a special new act competition with a difference. All acts are brand new to stand-up and all – wait for it… work for TFL. If that's not enough to raise a chuckle we don't know what is.

Readers of Private Eye and close followers of the national press will be well aware of the Deep Cut Barracks story. Between 1995 and 2002 four cadets at this training barracks have killed themselves - every one of them in suspicious circumstances. So far all official inquiries have been whitewashes, with no sense of closure or justice for the families.

Philip Ralph's play, meticulously pieced together from the accounts of cadets, soldiers and families, is a dramatisation of Deep Cut, a place where sex, alcohol and bullying have created a unique and occasionally deadly environment. There are no answers, just a forensic dissection of a family's experience as they try and establish how and why their child died against a wall of silence.

The Spring edition of the Affordable Art Fair hits Battersea Park this week with the usual range of art across all media on sale for between £50 and £3,000.

There's a good combination of established names and emerging talent. As ever, this is a great place for collectors (from entry-level to experienced) and for any fan of art whatever your income.

English Touriong Opera return with their sumptuous translated version of Mozart's iconic opera.

This show has been designed by physical theatre specialist Liam Steel and provides a visual as well as a musical spectacular. The main attraction, though, remains the soaring arias of the Queen of the Night.

Known as Iceand's bluesiest chanteuse Lovísa Elísabet Sigrúnardóttir - a.k.a. Lay Low has already wooed her native land with her disarming folk pop that sounds like a cross between 'Modern Life is Rubbish' Blur and Dusty Springfield.

Luckily for us, the powers that be have decided she is now ready to take on the people of England starting with the Slaughtered Lamb for a show that you should not miss - especially if you're part of the lumber-jack shirt brigade like us.

Alex Horne's dad is a birdwatcher. Alex isn't. But for one year he travelled round Britain, Bahrain, Birdworld and Bill Oddie in a bid to discover what makes his old man twitch.

A true and funny tale of ornithology from the Perrier Award-nominee.

A mature heavy metal band originally hailing from Alaska, 36 Crazyfists have a reputation or being one of the hardest working in the USA, thanks to incessant touring and three very creditable albums.

Expect a capacity turnout at this one: a) because these guys are really good and have a big internet following and b) because their music hits like a neutron bomb.

La Vita organise events in aid of breast cancer research.

They've been running for 2 years and tonight is their second birthday.

It's a house based policy tonight, with residents from a number of esteemed house promotions including Hed Kandi, MN2S, Connected, Sick On The Dancefloor and Defected. The dress code is pink and blue sunglasses.

Tonight they are raising money for prostate cancer research too.

Soundcrash returns with another real treat, bringing you an exclusive live performance from Red Snapper who will be showcasing their new album 'Pale Blue Dot'.

If that wasn't enough, Bonobo will get behind the decks at midnight.

Red Snapper is sold out, but tickets for Bonobo are still available.

A musical chameleon of some repute, Canadian singer songwriter Eric Chenaux has an uncanny ability to write songs that wind up in all sorts of unusual places, from tender jazz standards to bossa to fried folk to meaninglessly romantic balladry.

Armed with a raft of new material from his release on Canada's legendary Constellation label, Eric Cheaux opens his European tour by re-baking and reworking his songs live on stage at Cafe Oto tonight. The Dead Rat Orchestra who are supporting aren't bad either.

Groundbreaking night of electronic music, featuring silent concerts from experimental electronic types Oscillatorial Binnage, Clause Four and Mr Beatnick. Audiences of 20 at a time receive a live stream of the music via wireless, in what will be a world premiere for the system.

As well as the serious experimental stuff, there will also be plenty of music to dance to. Nadia Ksaiba plays anything from punk-funk to techno, and she will be joined by the residents for a dancefloor extravaganza.

Last One In's A Rotten Egg is a muscular tour de force that delivers a heavy slice of electro-soused debauchery - housed each month in 333 London. It's absolutely the place to go if you like your beats chunky, mashed-up and in-your-face: an ideal prescription for a nutritious nu-rave knees up.

The brains behind the night are the fantastic Jac the Disco. These guys have spent the last few years building a big following for their eclectic, mashed up and messed up nu rave events, and we can't think of a more fitting venue for one of their enjoyably chaotic parties. This month's headliners are Djedjotronic (Boys Noize Records) making his London debut and ZNTN (Dig We Must).

Dame Judi Dench plays the lead in this ravishing version of Mishima's play about the Marquis De Sade, told through the eyes of six remarkable women. The play, translated from the Japanese by Donald Keene, is a romantic epic and a portrait of France riven by corruption and teetering on the brink of the Revolution, where the crimes of monarchy and officialdom dwarf the transgressions of one risqué author.

This is the third installment of 'Donmar West End', the ambitious project led by Michael Grandage which aims to bring 'serious' theatre to the West End, drawing audiences with stars from the acting firmament. While Dench will attract thousands of fans who might not normally risk this kind of highbrow theatre, many aficionados will be more interested in seeing Mishima's lyrical vision realised on a London stage for the first time.

By now you may be thinking to yourself 'why do these Spoonfed guys keep banging on about bands from Scandinavia?' Well, the answer to that is simply because everything coming out of there is bloody amazing at the moment.

Take Speedmarket Avenue for example: yet another bunch of Swedes who are making amazing music look easy. On one hand they make breezy indie pop that reminds us of Belle and Sebastian, BMX Bandits and Polaris, but on the other hand they have really dark song titles like 'I'm Going to Let Swiss Army Knife Answer That'.

Absolutely enormous line up tonight at We Are Live courtesy of Tweak and Bleep.

They've united a mountain fit team of musical heavyweights, organized by three promoters; Farm Festival - the rustic Somerset music bonanza, Angel Breaks - the infamous Leeds breaks collective, and Broken Robot Records - a collaboration between Far Too Loud and RMS who will be launching tonight.

As part of the Teenage Cancer Trust's annual music shows at the Royal Albert Hall this month, James Corden and Matthew Horne will close the week with a comedy sketch show previewing material from their new BBC3 series.

Producing meddlesome pop which has wrapped itself around both the polished side of punk and harmony-laden '60s surf, McFly are a boundary-hopping boyband of immense proportions.

Whoopi Goldberg is one of the producers on a feelgood musical version of her smash hit 1992 movie, which is sure to be one of the biggest hits of the year. Book early for this one.

De-doo, de-doo, de-doo, de-doo, de-doo, de-doo, de-doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo.

Yes, it's The Antiques Roadshow theme tune in writing - doesn't work that well does it? Oh well, not to worry. So what are your thoughts on that Fiona Bruce? I'm a fan. I mean I loved Michael Aspel obviously, but I like seeing the weird old experts burbling with nerves whenever she turns up in the latest svelte outfit.