Flower Power

What a cracking title huh? 'The Worst Gift is a Fruitcake'. Is it though? We've had way worse. How about the history of Scotland, in Scottish? Now that's the worst present ever.

Anyway, this show - curated by Charlotte Hopkins Hall - features lots of small works in a kind of arty/Christmas shop kind of exhibition. There's painting, drawing, photography and objects by a selection of contemporary artists including James R Ford and Russell Herron.

The Fix comedy magazine are always putting on interesting events and this week they're doing a sketch comedy gig   presenting 'ones to watch for 2009'. Bishop and Douch, Delete the Banjax, Harbingers, Four Sad Faces and LADMA will all be performing some of their best stuff.

The Fix discovered Pappy's Fun Club, now one of the most popular sketch acts around, so if they say these guys are the future they probably knew it before they did.

The Watch Man is an art/science video installation produced by contemporary artist Shona Illingworth in collaboration with Leeds University neuropsychologist Professor Martin A Conway, an expert in the field of trauma memory.

The work documents the experiences of an 80-year-old watchmaker who was traumatised as a youth during World War II.

An interesting insight into the working of the human mind under stress and yet another example of the Wellcome Collection's ability to blend art and science.

Moshi Moshi and Wichita team up to throw the mother of all Christmas Parties.

With Swedish indie pop duo First Aid Kit have being the first to be announced, the gang have added cute-as-a-button folksters Slow Club and alternative rockers Sky Larkin to the bill and there's still one more to come...

Click here or watch this space to find out who.

Aitherios Theatre bring their multi-national, multi-faceted interpretation of the Tin Soldier to The Courtyard for a festive residency. This Hans Christian Anderson story is of course a staple of Christmas time, but this avant-garde interpretation by a multi-national troupe of physical performers, while still enchanting for children, is rather different.

An enchanting spectacle with a heart-warming message, and a magical adventure wrapped into one; this show will make a memorable outing round Christmas.

Imagine if the Ramones traded in their leather jackets for anoraks, or Stephen Pastel actually threw Aggi off the bridge and married Black Tambourine's Pam Berry and had four babies that formed a pop band, then you'll be imagining The Pains of Being Pure Hearts, a weirdly alluring four-piece from New York who we shouldn't like but kind of do.

Anyway, tonight they're at the Lexington and as we love this place and it's Dom's Birthday, we'll probably be there too.

Rhod Gilbert finds himself standing in the Coffee shop bit, armed with a travel pillow, a flask and a very powerful torch, aggressively demanding to know more about an 'Award-Winning Mince Pie' on display on the counter.

Suddenly aware of what he is doing, Rhod is forced to acknowledge that he may be having a very mild nervous breakdown. How did it come to this? He doesn't even like mince pies. The pressures of living in a tedious, pointless and absurd world surrounded by idiots have finally taken their toll.

This is a fantastic, energetic performance from Gilbert and rightly earned him the coveted if.comedy nomination this year. He needn't have worried about not talking about the surreal world of Llanbobl this time round; his real life is just as funny.

Kicker Conspiracy presents an intriguing line up of up-and-coming artists at the Legion's Xmas bash. Liverpudlian singer-songwriter Eugene McGuinness tops the bill with his funny yet poignant indie-folk, with an eclectic supporting cast including Nick Harrison, Gold Teeth and Cosmo Jarvis.

Not to be confused with the Stereo MCs (honestly there's a guy in our office who is convinced these guys did 'Get Yourself Connected') Stereolab was one of the first bands where the term post-rock could be applied, thanks to them pioneering a sound that mixes krautrock with '50s and '60s pop, lounge music and Situationist Marxism.

Although the period between 1994 and 2003 has not been kind to these guys, Stereolab have recently released a new album called Chemical Chords on 4AD, and it seems that the band may be heading back into the critical good-books, if you know what we mean.

Sometime in the near future: three children find themselves caught up in a war raging across London. They take shelter in a theatre, where the Stage Door Keeper befriends them and tells them a story that plunges the children back into the magical world of the Arabian Nights.

From futuristic London, to modern Syria, to ancient Persia, this is a fantasy with scope, brilliantly designed and directed by Will Tuckett, who has a reputation for making dance shows that children love, and adults are impressed by.

A magical alternative to more traditional Christmas panto and substantially more fun for the adults than yet another Peter Pan.

Big Fat! beats for fatties courtesy of Trouble Vision and Chew The Fat!

The remarkable Trevor Loveys (Switch) is headlining. His new Tragic Magic stuff is simply sublime. High octane, jackin' house and techno.

He's joined tonight by Herve and some other bloody good chaps to serve you a loaded plate of electronic delights.

Man, we love Rough Trade. Not only is it the only place you can buy Dickies albums and super-strong coffee at the same time at their shop, they also make amazing how-the-hell-did-they-manage-to-convince-THEM-to-play-here parties happen.

As it's Christmas, the guys have pulled out all the stops for this epic night of music down in Great Eastern Street. Featuring Kasms and Underground Railroad on stage and a host of familiar faces behind the decks, this will be even more incredible than usual.

Ahh, Friends and Family - the excellent longstanding showcase who manage to be both underground and ahead of the curve.

F & F is organised by Fat City Recordings - specialists in the music staples that are hip hop, funk, soul and jazz - a label which originated in Manchester as a record shop. The guests they attract are always stellar.

Tonight it's their Discotheque Tropical featuring none other than the remarkable Quantic.

He's responsible for some of the finest and most innovative music the UK has ever seen via the excellent Tru Thoughts imprint and has collaborated with all manner of luminaries - most notably Alice Russell on their Quantic Soul Orchestra project.

He's joined tonight by Frankie Francis and Koichi Sakai.

Jimminy Crickets this looks good! For starters it's a show celebrating all things rational and scientific, debunking Winterval myths spouted by religious ninnies by way of comedy and song. 

Rather than talking of the birth of Jesus, acclaimed science author Simon Singh will talk about the birth of the universe. Instead of talking about Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh, Bad Science Columnist Ben Goldacre will talk of alternative medicine and charlatans.

Atheist comedians speaking include Ricky Gervais, Robin Ince, Stewart Lee, Phil Jupitus, Josie Long and Mark Thomas.  Musicians like Tim Minchin, Darren Hayman, Robyn Hitchcock, Phil Harris, Gavin Osborn, Colin Watson (aka Waen Shepherd) and the Martin White Mini Fax Machine Orchestra will be playing. And that's only some of the billing.  Frankly it couldn't get any better. 

This was initially supposed to be a one-off event at the Bloomsbury Theatre but tickets sold out so quickly they decided to hold another one the night before, which also sold out straight away.  One more is taking place on Sunday at the bigger venue of the Apollo and while tickets have sold out through the main websites, you can still snap up a pair in the 5th row on eBay, or if you're in the area on the night check for returns. It will be worth it.

Remember Stars in Their Eyes, where some bricky would sing a song dressed as Sheena Easton? Well There's Nothing Wrong with Covers is basically the same thing - a bunch of awesome bands dressing up and playing the music of another bunch of awesome bands.

Tonight sees Popular Workshop running through a set of Nirvana covers, Lets Wrestle presenting the works of Husker Du, The New Happiness doing The Replacements, 4 or 5 Magicians pretending to be Guided By Voices, G Minor crooning the songs of Elliott Smith and William doing the seemingly impossible by pretending to be the entire of the Beastie Boys.

If that isn't fun, then we don't know what is...

Two of London's best known disco party guys, Neil Thornton and Johnny Hiller bring their Lasermagnetic 'hustle' to Home in a special New Year's Eve orientated manoeuvre. The bar now boasts a refurbished basement and an improved soundsystem, as well as plenty-late opening hours.

Guests tonight are Thomas - one half of Rub N Tug - a Californian based producer in whose hands 'the disco ball has regained consciousness'. He's doing a special 4 hour set. He's backed up by The Off Key Hat - a disco duo comprised of Leon Mayes and Darren Morris - plus the Ctrl Alt Del boys Dave Rose and Jefferson and many more.

Now in its 23rd year, the Chuckle Club is the second oldest comedy club in London, next to the Comedy Store. Held in the LSE student bar, it consequently has the cheapest drinks you will find at a comedy club and it attracts some of the biggest comedians on the circuit too. Eddie Izzard and Al Murray have appeared in the past and recent billings include Robin Ince, Milton Jones, Andrew Lawrence and Scott Capurro.

The Scottish kings of dance punk that is Franz Ferdinand play a highly intimate show at Heaven tonight.

Supported by Georgian experimental and oft naked pop act Of Montreal, this is the first date in the largest tour Franz Ferdinand has done for years, and will be probably the only chance of catching them in a smaller venue this year without accidentally falling in on them at the Macbeth or something.

Hussein Chalayan is one of the major figures in the contemporary fashion world, his name synonymous with wacky conceptualism, technological wizardry and unparalleled innovativity.

His best known pieces include, in S/S 08, a dress featuring over 200 moving lasers, and, in A/W 07, another dress covered in Swarovski crystals and over 15,000 flickering LEDs.

A sharp comedy with a tolerant core from Richard Bean, featuring a pair of unfeasibly long-toothed lovers who live through four generations of immigration in Bethnal Green, from the French Huguenots in the 17th century, via Irish, Jews and Bangladeshis right up to the current Islamisation of the East End.